i thought i left my ipod in the theater so we went back to look for it and i couldn’t see so i turned on my ipod to give me some light so i could find my ipod do u see where this is going because i did not 

(Source: burgrs)


Drunk Liars

(Source: fitzandmontgomery)

shingekinokyojinheaven:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time my sisters and i were driving around and we saw a mcdonald’s and the m was kind of loose because there was a bunch of wind

and my older sister was like “mel i dare you do go steal that m”

so of course i don’t back down from a dare and i pried the m loose from the sign and we stole that mcdonald’s m and we hung it outside of our house because our last name starts with m and it was clever okay

but the manager of that mcdonalds FOLLOWED US HOME TO OUR HOUSE and they came to our door a few hours later and my mom answered and the manager was like “…it’s peculiar that you have a mcdonald’s m outside of your house when ours got stolen”

and my mom was like “yeah what an odd coincidence”

and the manager came by like the next day and my mom answered again and the manager was like “alright we know what your fucking brat kids did” and my mom was like “my children would nEVER”

and she closed the door on her and she was like “marielle you little shit”
but then we took the m off of our house to throw off the manager and it’s in our garage now

but yeah i stole a big golden arch from mcdonald’s once

amateur

mellarkish:

do u ever hear someone mention one of ur fandoms in public but you can’t fully react but in ur mind u kinda just

image


dalehan:

That second image.

(Source: lolgifs.net)


(Source: klinchel)

manbear83:

All you hear is, “Snoopy don’t hit em no more!”

(Source: mcrubs)

seinfelcl:

how dumb is it that we’ve created words we arent supposed to use

guy:

the more i talk, the more i understand why i’m single

(Source: guy)


ginabaex3:

totallylesbians:

thegayduck:

lucifer-who:

ghdos:

I wish I had known about this when we had all that fucking snow this winter.

#do you wanna stab a snowman #it doesn’t have to be a snowman

#it doesn’t have to be a snowman

It’s mid-late April and it was snowing hard this morning. I live in Michigan.. I could probably still do this.

Doing this in the winter

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

rupindeer:

I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people

(Source: bi-ndi)